Post Office

Yesterday I finally wrapped the Christmas ornaments going west to CA; I had purchased a roll of bubble wrap at Staples; retrieved boxes from neighbor…ones I had given her and she had not used; had the tape and scissors ready and sat at the dining room table wrapping and packing for about 2 hours.

Like Santa, the boxes were packed and Rudolph, the car, was all ready…off to the Post Office dressed in red top and hat! gray sweats and Birkenstocks’, black…J9 is probably cringing by now at my unfashionable attire.

On my way to the Post Office, I detoured to Dollar General to take back the blue jean pajama pants which had not been sewn correctly. This chore taken care of; next stop Post Office.

It was 11:40 a.m. and to my amazement there were no cars on the right hand side where I park all the time. Entering the Post Office with two boxes and one big Christmas Card on top; balanced exactly until I hit the red runway carpet leading to the counter and dropped everything…both boxes had “BREAKABLES” written very large on all sides. A nice young man picked up the packages…no rattling, so perhaps nothing broken…and placed then on the counter for me…he said “you almost made it…just five more feet”…I thanked him and continued straight to an agent who immediately said: “You can’t mail that box.”  I said: “Why not?” and he said: “Because it has Seagram’s on the sides and we don’t know if you have whiskey in there or not.”

There were two other people in the Post Office. A nicely dressed man in a black overcoat and the proper pant, shirt and tie to complete the perfect attire; a woman on the other side of him, also dressed nicely in a lavender top….did not see what she had on as pants….

So, when the agent made his statements about the box, I said: “You know what, I just hate Christmas!” not ugly, just a statement of fact…the man, woman and all three agents fell out laughing and the nicely dressed man said: “We probably all feel the same way, if we just admitted it.” They kept laughing off and on as the agent and I decided how to correct my box problem…cover it with duct tape; unpack and pack in a proper box…not going to happen; spray paint the box, etc.

The Christmas Card going east stamped and on its way; the smaller box was a proper brown box with BREAKABLES written all over it. He asked if I wanted to insure the contents and I said: “I dropped it.” He shook the box and said “nothing rattles” and repeated the question so I purchased the insurance.

While this was going on the nicely dressed man turned and said to me: “Merry Christmas” and blushed. I said “the same to you” and smiled…the nicely dressed woman was leaving and said: “Merry Christmas” and smiled and I said: “and the same to you”. Everyone seemed in a great mood so I think the box had brought out the “funny” is all of us, even if it meant I would have to go home and come back probably when loads of people were there with tons of boxes. Commenting on the fact that no one was there and how lucky I had been to not have to wait to find out about my box the agent said: “You should drive on up to TN and get a lottery ticket with this kind of luck!”  I said: “Maybe I will do just that.”

I came home and got out the ABE Book tape…the tape that says: ABE Books with Christmas sprig on the tape and taped the entire box with tons of this white tape with words ….round and round the box sides and then across the bottom and top. After finishing this task, I took it outside and spray painted with green paint. The paint was cold and kinda came out in a solid stream and not a nice spray, however, the effect was rather nice. Some fine spatter covered the white address envelope rendering a nice touch.

Back to the Post Office with tape wrapped, spray painted box. My next door neighbor decided she would ride with me and pick up a couple of envelopes for her daughter to use in mailing her work to the nursing home in MS. Arriving at the Post Office the second time, the right side was all filled up with cars so I had to park in a foreign left front space. Even though there were a lot of cars, only two women were in front of me.

They bought looked at my box and admired how it looked…they called it festive and asked how it was made. I said: “I taped and then spray painted .” They marveled at the outcome…I did not say that I had blotted it with newspaper and had almost asphyxiated on the way back to the Post Office with the paint smell. I said I could make them some for a price.

The agent said: “Whiskey box? Painted?” and I said “Yep, where is the other agent with the long gray hair?” and he said he was off for lunch. I reiterated part of the story and then the box was off to CA with insurance and all.

Leaving I noted there was a very long line, waiting to mail their mundane boxes…none as pretty as mine.

Opening the box will certainly be a challenge…