The Key to No Door

I have a key

It opened the kitchen door

To my parents home

No more.

I burned the house

Built in 1940

By Daddy and Grandaddy

I will miss the house

No one could enter

Falling in from disrepair

And disrespect from one

Who was the “caretaker”

To hunt deer

No more

This is the last winter

I love the deer

He did not keep

His side of the agreement

No more.

It hurts to have a key that opens no door anymore.

The First Day of Advent

Dr. Bradfords sermon on TV today. My extrapolation of the salient points.

It is a difficult time for some of us. We are not fine and it is all right to say we hurt. The first year is not the hardest for some. This year, the third year, has been the hardest for me.

Here are the twelve points covered.

1. Expect the holidays to be difficult,

2. Be easy on yourself. It is ok to say No.

3. Do not be afraid to ask for help,

4. It is ok to enjoy yourself,

5. Draw on you faith. Tell God how you feel (this I have certainly done),

6. Be gentle with your counselors. The best thing to say, “I am praying for you.” The worst thing to say, “I know how you feel”. There is no way to know how a person feels because you are not them,

7. Do something for someone else,

8. Try not to withdraw (the hardest for me),

9. Let the past memories flood you (I have cried oceans),

10. Draw strength from your faith,

11. Visit the gravesite and talk (I live to far away to visit the gravesite but I talk to his room and photo every day; I tell him all the things I failed to tell him in life),

12. Remember that you are normal.

The Days of October

The clock marches across the sky counting the hours of the day. I notice that the day is almost gone before it has begun. I had my hot vinegar and honey at 7. The morning is cool. The workers came early today. The bones feel better. Books are waiting to be filed, already read and forgotten. Oatmeal and raisin steaming in the clear cut crystal bowl waiting. Coffee, stark black as the night, cries out to be held while warm, but yet the pumpernickel bread is not toasted. The incessant nailing of wood on frames yet to be a home. The time had passed and I eat staring at the clouds, without a meaningful thought I could think. Just books and photos waiting. Unknown callers call and the clock sits at noon to rest. Photo albums put away and books filed on shelves to be given, donated, sold whichever comes along first. I find it does not matter. At 4, I will watch one TV program, then the weather as the clock sinks into another world I cannot see. Night will descend and envelop my world and yet another day.

Stephen Hawking

Hawking invoked the name of God in his seminal book A Brief History of Time, writing that if physicists could find a “theory of everything” — that is, a cohesive explanation for how the universe works — they would glimpse “the mind of God.”

But in later interviews and writings, such as 2010’s The Grand Design, which he co-wrote with Leonard Mlodinow, Hawking clarified that he wasn’t referring to a creator in the traditional sense.

“Spontaneous creation is the reason there is something rather than nothing, why the universe exists, why we exist,” he wrote in The Grand Design. “It is not necessary to invoke God to light the blue touch paper and set the universe going.”

Using language about God, Hawking told TIME after the book’s release, is more figurative than literal.

“God is the name people give to the reason we are here,” he said. “But I think that reason is the laws of physics rather than someone with whom one can have a personal relationship. An impersonal God.”
Hawking considered himself an atheist

Hawking spoke more plainly about his thoughts on God in an interview with Spanish publication El Mundo.

“Before we understand science, it is natural to believe that God created the universe. But now science offers a more convincing explanation,” he said. “What I meant by ‘we would know the mind of God’ is, we would know everything that God would know, if there were a God, which there isn’t. I’m an atheist.”
But still thought the universe had meaning

Though Hawking rejected the conventional notion of God or a creator, he fundamentally believed that the universe and life have meaning, according to the New York Times.

“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist,” Hawking said of the meaning of life. “Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at.”

Write to Jamie Ducharme at

Carl Sagan

Billions & Billions: Thoughts on Life and Death at the Brink of the Millennium.

“I would love to believe that when I die I will live again, that some thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But as much as I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking. I want to grow really old with my wife, Annie, whom I dearly love. I want to see my younger children grow up and to play a role in their character and intellectual development. I want to meet still unconceived grandchildren. There are scientific problems whose outcomes I long to witness—such as the exploration of many of the worlds in our Solar System and the search for life elsewhere. I want to learn how major trends in human history, both hopeful and worrisome, work themselves out: the dangers and promise of our technology, say; the emancipation of women; the growing political, economic, and technological ascendancy of China; interstellar flight. If there were life after death, I might, no matter when I die, satisfy most of these deep curiosities and longings. But if death is nothing more than an endless dreamless sleep, this is a forlorn hope. Maybe this perspective has given me a little extra motivation to stay alive. The world is so exquisite, with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better, it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look Death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.”

Steve Jobs

From Steve Jobs Deathbed:

“I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world.  In others’ eyes, my life is an epitome of success.  However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to.

At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.

In the darkness, I look at the green lights from the life supporting machines and hear the humming mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of god of death drawing closer…

Now I know, when we have accumulated sufficient wealth to last our lifetime, we should pursue other matters that are unrelated to wealth…

Should be something that is more important: Perhaps relationships, perhaps art, perhaps a dream from younger days …
Non-stop pursuing of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me.

God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth.  The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me.  What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love.

That’s the true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on.  Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want to go. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in your hands.
What is the most expensive bed in the world? – “Sick bed” …  You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.
Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – “Life”.

When a person goes into the operating room, he will realize that there is one book that he has yet to finish reading – “Book of Healthy Life”.

Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.

Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends…

Treat yourself well. Cherish others.” – Steve Jobs


Yours in good and loving health, Kev

Trying to start over

Today I am still in Boston. I sit and think about everything and nothing.

A deer came into the yard to eat the apples. A huge hawk swooped down and frightened the deer who ran down the hill and watched from under other big trees. Then the deer decided to leave, I missed the leaving part.

Later, when Jackie and T returned from soccer, Jackie ran from the back door and out the front door. I did not know what was happening so I put my shoes on to go out and see. Unfortunately, a squirrel had fallen out a big pine tree and splattered his little brains on the driveway.

Jackie took him down in the woods while we all said “poor little thing” and got back to our individual lives.

They are all gone again to soccer and basketball. Rain is moving in and I opted to stay put and get ready to go back to the City of Apollo, Huntsville, AL., my home for 50 years now. I missed all the dancing on the streets.

I met VonBraun once. I was the Lyceum Director for Delta State and booked people in for events.VonBraun was one of those people. He was very handsome and articulate. One of my claims to fame.

So another day ends.