With you always goes Love!

Love this!



“The circumstance, status, situation may change.
You might have to stand on your own.

But you are not alone.

Love is inevitable, constant
Will consistently remain
Living in your heart.


You make a difference in our world, my friend.

You are loved.
With angel blessings,”
– Steff

Photo & text credit: “Angel’s Insight” https://www.facebook.com/Angels-Insight-273126974510/?fref=photo

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Honda Accord EX (in the rain) at Lab Corp

Today was the day to draw the 20 tubes of blood for the 5HIAA. I drank 77 ounces of water yesterday, through the night, until 10 am, being NPO after midnight except for water.

The bathroom was my friend all night.

It went better than expected. I made up a little song: “this will be fast and easy…lalalah” over and over.

My blood clotted before the last 3 tubes were drawn…therefore a second stick to get it done. But it was done! The technician said I helped to relax her because I told her childhood stories growing up on Route 2. It helped the time pass…and it tested whether it would make her laugh. She did. Then another tech came in and held my hand and it was over.

It was raining, however, I was lucky to get a good parking space so when I came out, while waiting for the rain to let up, I took this photo:

  Not very clear but will have to do for now….my new Pearl car.
From here to Waffle House to renew my energy. Pretty empty. Rain kept people in, I guess.

Boring information…the blood test helps to diagnose more info on neuroendocrine cancer. Requested by Ochsner.

Neuroendocrine conference San Francisco

Yesterday I attended this conference from 11 a.m.  until about 4:30 p.m.via live streaming. The information was excellent, presented by well renown physicians.

My journal has many blank pages. There were days I wanted to write but the effort seemed too difficult. I was tired and thought that dying would be easy. Living sure can be tough. Doctors are frustrating. You seem to be a number without a voice. They assume that you will follow whatever they say because doctors are, in their minds, God.

The next to last time I went to Clearview Cancer building…the place with the rainbow, the doctor did not even know who I was. He finally looked at my chart and said, “oh, yes” whatever that meant. 

I then stated that I had waited for one month to receive the results of the EUS. He said he called me. I pulled out my iPhone 6 and said that the phone captured every phone call and there was not a call from him. He would not look at me. I said “you are lying and I have lost respect and trust in you.” He looked at me then and asked if the surgeon had not called me. I said no he had not. He said “well, I tried. That counts for something.” I then stated that I was glad that I was intelligent enough to call Medical Records and pick up my own report and interpret it for myself.  (The EUS was performed on the 19th of December and I left for Boston on the 22nd. Somehow I got it all done.)

He wanted, then, to send me to Birmingham for surgical options and I said I would prefer not to go to UAB, not liking the city nor the facility. He never heard me and had this scheduled. He then pushed through coverage for a shot that might or might not shrink my tumor, but essentially might keep it from growing. I would have to have this shot each month.  However, the test for that treatment option had not been scheduled. So, I was to come back the next morning for this shot. That is what my $220. provided….

Remember, I came home from Boston on December 17 and was leaving for Mississippi on December 22, 5 days later which I explained. I said I wished to delay everything until after the holidays. No one heard this.

The next morning, I got into my 2014 Honda Accord 

  and proceeded to go back to  Clearview Cancer to let them know I was not going to take this shot, after researching and speaking with doctors who KNOW something about neuroendocrine cancer. They said “you have not even had the 5HIAA done or an Otreascan.” So off I went arriving promptly on time, early morning sun in my eyes and not paying attention to the concrete barrier, ran over it half way, at least, and was stuck. I went in and told the staff I was not going  to take the shot, that I was stuck on one of their concrete barriers and needed to go and call a tow truck.

This actually sounds comical!

The tow truck arrived; backed me off the concrete barrier, hugged me, said Merry Christmas and left. I do not know if my insurance company was charged or not. He was my angel for the day.

I went straight away to Jerry Damson Honda to see if the underside of the car had any damage. By the time they told me it was o.k., I had leased a new 2016 Honda Accord EX, heated seats, all kinds of cameras, sunroof, etc….and white with tan leather seats (photo not yet taken). 

Therefore, on Friday,  before leaving on Sunday, I changed from being a car owner to a leassee.

Why did I lease? Because I really did not like my gray car, did not want it to be part of my estate,  my children would have to sort out, so I leased a car. They will just come and pick it up. I finally had a white car again with lots of extras. Damson had to go to Decatur and pick it up so I came home in the old gray gal and waited for my new shinning car to arrive. 

Proceeded on to Mississippi for Christmas.

After Christmas, my sister and I were out shopping and I receive a call from Clearview.

“We need you to come in Monday for a CT Scan.”

“Do you know to whom you are speaking? Have you checked my chart? I have had two and have no intention of having another or coming in Monday. I am not in town.”

“Oh, yes, I see you have. Then you have to come by and pick up the CD before going to Birmingham on January 7. We have sent them all your records.”

“I am not going to Birmingham. Who asked you to schedule this? Never mind, I will take care of this when I get back.”

I hung up on them.

Fast forward to January 2. 

“Hello. Scheduling please.”

“Hello, how may I help you.”

“You may cancel my appointment in Birmingham….name, etc”

“You will have to do that yourself.”

“So you made it, but I have to cancel it?”

“Yes…giving me the number.”

I hung up and cancelled the appointment.

That is when I called  Ochsner.

This post is too long; continue saga later.

Out my Kitchen Window

image.jpegEven though I never seem to finish a challenge, except once, this one by Cardinal Guzman caught my attention. Why? Because it requires only one post a month. Surely, I can do this my self said to my self.


Tassitus.com critters sent out this information.

I am not so good with a camera. I say that and do not even own a working camera. Therefore, my iPhone will be the culprit to blame. I plan to observe the changes in my backyard through the seasons, taking photos through my kitchen window.



This may turn out to be a calamity…boring and more boring as time progresses. Maybe I might venture out or try to post something else that falls into the category.

Therefore, here is my first effort.

The Changing Seasons: January 2016 [23/365]

The Changing Seasons: January 2016 | Cardinal Guzman

Washing Dishes by Hand

Washing dishes by hand may seem a chore to some. I find it a time to reflect on each piece and to remember the back story to these utilitarian objects. 

 The first knife on your right, goes with a fitting board my ex husband and I received in 1961. It is always handy because the little cutting board stands right by the sink, just out of view. The handle is wood, so I never leave it standing in water.

The middle knife is of unknown origin, however, it is my “go to” knife for cutting most everything. The handle is plastic and it mostly hangs out in the sink ready to be quickly washed for the next chore.

The knife on your left was picked up at a yard sale. A fork and spoon came with it. The fork was gently chewed by the garbage disposal. The spoon has a prime place in the spoon cup holder. They all stay shiny without polishing.

  As I continued to ruminate on my few items to be washed, I thought how kind my friend Kathy was to give me the Pfaltzgraff cup left at one of her rental houses. There are three. These I use every day. They are just the right size for the one cup Keurig machine. I put most of my cups in my last yard sale except these and a couple more…the one my son always uses when he comes…they did not sell. 

The small Corning ware bowl was my mom’s. I had peaches in it today. I do not remember what she used it most for in her time. It is a warm thought that her hands also washed this bowl.

The white colored glass, I picked up at a yard sale. I think it is called Indiana glass. When you hold it up to the light it reflects many colors. It makes the vinegar and water go down easier. 

Last, the butter knife is part of an eight piece place setting. It is rarely used. I remember when I bought the set that I wanted to use silver plate in place of stainless steel. My silver was stolen from our car when we were moving from Waveland to Clinton, oh so many moons ago.

Owning things from friends, family and unknowns give an opportunity, as I hand wash each item, to remember that person or place or make up far fetched stories about the previous owner. 

I have a dishwasher, never used, because I have too few things to wash. As time went by, I liked the washing of each dish; the reminiscing about each piece, the calming of the mind as I wandered among memories.