Never go to bed angry

My son was gifted in so many areas. He could sing; they, he and his wife and son, had a band called Isle of Light. I have a CD with him singing and playing the guitar for a song called “Here Am I” which I think he wrote and composed the music. There are others who disagree with me. Time will tell. His wife played the flute and the son played piano and sax. They seemed very happy back then.

He had his own company, Frednet Software, Inc., that was a multi-million dollar company. That is where they met, I think. He hired her and she married the boss. I think he really loved her and I hope she loved him and not his money. However, this will be discussed in the “angry” post and not here.

They say negative people make positive people sick. Therefore, I must have made him sicker. I hope not, but I am afraid he thought so. Therefore, I regret being a negative person in his perception. For that I am deeply sorry.

Freddie, I will always love you. Please forgive me for my failures as a mom.

8 thoughts on “Never go to bed angry”

    1. Playing the “but” game…but I tried so hard to be perfect that I think I drove folk away with my OCD. Loved my children unconditionally, no question. My daughter stated that in her dissertation. My son made a video for me that I cherish saying I was the “best mom in the whole world” and yet I question….I wish I would accept that I was o.k.

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  1. We all make mistakes and I am sure you are forgiven by your God as well as Freddie. Now, forgive yourself.
    You are in mourning and I am sure that all these thoughts and emotions will flood you from time to time.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks, Bonnie. Forgiving myself is very hard. I must learn to be grateful that i was allowed to have him for 54 years; so many families are not privileged to have their child for that length of time.

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  3. I can’t speak for Freddie, but as a daughter who is 54 years old, and who also has parents your age, I can honestly say I love them with all of my heart. They were far from perfect, but I’m adult enough now to understand them. I don’t have anything to forgive them for, because I don’t blame them for anything. I see the goodness in them and don’t focus on their flaws, because I have plenty of my own. I can tell by what you shared, that Freddie was in this same place. Even if we get testy once in a while with our parents, it’s just a mood or a passing thought. It doesn’t mean we don’t forgive. I can feel your love for Freddie, and if I feel it, he definitely felt it. He still does from the other side. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

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