Anger has been a constant companion. I understand that this is an unhealthy state and that I will not be able to move forward until I can give this anger to the Universe to work out for me.
There are so many things I am angry about. So, to start I will talk about my first anger.
The “grieving widow”.
I had surgery last April 11th; I was suppose to take six months to heal but I did not have six months because the “grieving widow” decided to abandon my son three or four days after their wedding anniversary at the end of April 2016. She took a few clothes and left with her girl friend and her daughter and left my son to die alone.
She took their son, who came home in April 2016, to Illinois to see her brother rather than letting him spend some time with his father. I guess she needed to get them all on the same page about her impending departure from the home. She seems, in my opinion, to have an incestuous relationship with this brother. They have to see each other every six months, I think.
Their parents died, I think, in 2015 or 2014 and I understand she is still grieving from that loss; however, her son is about to say an eternal goodbye to his father and she hauls him off to see her brother? Someone please help me understand.
My son wanted to come for my surgery. I think he was strong enough to make the trip, at that time, and he could have seen the doctor who might could have saved his life in New Orleans. He did not come because he said he had to stay home to guard the home front while she was gone because he did not know what she would do next. Maybe this was an excuse because he did not feel well enough to come. I will never know. but as he said: “She just wants me to die.” I believe he was correct in that assessment
She lived “high on the hog” as we would say in the south. She did not want to pay alimony because she could not afford to; however, they could go out and eat at the fancy places and always, always, always every month she set aside so much money to have her foot massages, hair styled, finger nails done and to purchase endless artwork supplies.
We had never had a good relationship which is not uncommon between mother-in-laws- and daughter-in-laws- however, I became suspicious when she called me one day, way before any of this was going on, to my knowledge, and grilled me about two checks I had sent to Freddie for his use. She wanted to know: “What is the money for?” “Whose money is it?” “Is Freddie suppose to share it?” etc. Finally, I said, “I sent it to my son. It is his to do with as he pleases.” Later, when the checks cleared and I showed them to my son, he said: “That is not my signature and they were deposited into two separate bank accounts, both hers.”
He took her name off his account in AL.
Back to last year. As soon as I learned to talk, write, walk with a cane, I got on a plane to CA. It was a difficult trip but I felt I had to go. No one else in the family could go; and I wanted to be there because I felt she would not cross me, as well as I loved him dearly and wanted to try to save him from the nightmare he was living.
He slowly told me all the things she had done to him. Whether it was the drugs talking or him lucid talking, he believed what he was saying and I believed him.
One of the worst days was the day he found out she had put his cat to sleep. She had come to pick up the cat to take to the vet and said she would bring him (Spunky) back. Spunky never came back. She had him put to sleep without telling him. He loved that cat and that cat was his only companion. I heard him screaming in the bathroom: “She killed my cat.” Such a heart rending scream from deep inside an already emotionally abused soul from one who had already taken time off from work to go through grief counseling. A former employee of his told me that she ran into this “grieving widow” in Costco and that she was angry that he wanted to keep going places to see if they could help him find a cure because he was dying and he knew it.
I saw her after he died. She evicted me twice from the house….once by email; once by an attorney leaving a voice message or text message, I forget which. I let both of them know I knew the laws and how to evict a person is fairly universal and it is not by email or text or voice messaging. I stated I would leave when I was ready to go.
She called him one night. I was there and heard. She said he would die if he did not make her the executor of his estate. He looked at me and said “What was that all about? I could hear that woman in the background telling her what to say.” He tried to call her back but there was no answer. He had appointed his sister as executor of his estate. I had Medical Power of Attorney.
She had called him the devil and put sage around the house. She sent a swat team to surround the house because he was “playing” with his gun. He was cleaning the gun from when his son had been home and they had gone to the shooting range. I called and verified this with the police. They could not tell me what happened but they said if I told them what happened they could say whether it was true or not. So I told them what he had told me when he called terrified that he would be shot. I was in AL and all I could do was to call them and say: “My son is not crazy and would not harm himself nor his wife because unfortunately he still loves her.” They said she had sent them to their home.
She and her female friend tried to break in by beating on the door lock; (I have a photo somewhere of this door that I will publish)
climbing up a ladder to break in through a window; (a photo of the ladder)
when she was there not holding the vomit basin and helping to eliminate the contents because he might vomit three bins full; not bringing something to wash his mouth out to take away the sour taste; making him wash is dirty clothes out in the shower which was difficult for him.
For those of you who do not know, he had continuous diarrhea and lived his life pretty much in the bathroom, even sleeping on the commode. He would eat and about 20 minutes later it came through. The rest of his life was at dialysis.
I do have some good memories for another day to write about.
All this happened and more before I finally got there on July 19, not knowing that I had a mere 5 months to try to help my son, he said I was not well enough to help him but at least I was there.
Sometimes he did not want me there. He thought I was negative and he told everyone I was negative. I thought I was telling the truth but later I discover from everyone I know that my telling the truth in a less than tactful manner was what I did. Also I have no tact. Even my priest said that this was about 75% true last Wednesday when I met with him.
So all my life I have been tactless and truthful with no common sense. Can I change? do I want to change? I do not know the answer.
This post is far to long even though I have barely begun with anger.
These are my opinions and perceptions. Where was your Christianity? and how convenient your girlfriend assaulted you so you could beg for Freddie’s forgiveness and play the “grieving widow” at the Celebration of his Life.
Just a note to the “grieving widow”. I know you are trolling my every move on the internet. Welcome to my blog. And welcome to the second wife and her two children who are helping you keep tabs on me.