Days Blur Together

I arrived home on December 30th with my son’s ashes.

I gently placed his ashes on his bed in his bedroom, opened the drapes so his soul could see the trees and sunlight. I placed his favorite things beside him…his beloved phone…his connection to the physical world because he could no longer go outside except occasionally. His back scratcher and a flash light, in lieu of a call button. 

I leave the light on for him at night. He always kept a light on. I placed a family portraiture near by and an angel to watch over him. Each morning and night I go in and give him the days agenda and remind him he did not die because he will always live within my heart. At night, I go on and recall the days activity with him and kneel and say a prayer. I leave the light on. 

When cards come, I read them to him and leave them close by. He loved getting cards. He would examine each corner and study the card as if he could feel the person who sent it.

Will I forget in time the hole that he left? I am told it gets better. I hope so. I miss him.

6 thoughts on “Days Blur Together

  1. Linda, it never goes away, the pain just changes into something more tolerable. You were with him 24/7 doing for him. Your life has changed drastically, because now the hours you were with him are empty. Nothing to do for him anymore … those hours are no longer being filled. It’s only been what, 2, 3 weeks since you got home? You’re schedule will eventually adjust, but you’ll always miss him. You’ll just adapt. Your heart is broken, and I wish I could mend it for you. Your pain is like no other. It’s the deepest pain a human can endure. Hugging you from afar.

    Liked by 1 person

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