In this world of instant communication, it is possible to keep some very personal things from public view, if only for a little while.
This gives time to reflect, to grieve, to wonder and to garner your thoughts into a coherent pattern, choosing what you wish the “public” face to reflect.
For this post, I have turned off every possible sharing site (or tried to at least). These are thoughts on the state of our schools, our children, our future.
Every day we hear of more school shootings. Children killing children; teenagers killing teenagers. We hear the cry about gun control. Guns do not kill children. Children kill children; children bully each other. At a very early age, if one is trained to see the red flags, they are there. You just have to know how to read them. The downcast eyes; the sighs; the flopping on the couch stating it was the worst Christmas ever; the fighting; the being first; the bigger child pushing ahead of the smallest among them; the overriding little things left without correction turning perhaps to something bigger.
Then there are the parents who push the child beyond what is bearable. To be the best; to be first; to be president of every club; to be liked and respected and looked up to by peers, teachers and most of all perhaps their friends. They can say “My son……………”
What are we doing to our future? What can we not “do over”; where does it stop? What is reversible?
I no longer believe in the education system; the government has intruded into all the tiny cracks of our lives, not to open them up so the light can get in (Cohen), but to close them off so that all become dependent on big government. The beginning of “Big Brother”; 1984 come to life in the here and now.
A very bright senior at the top of almost everything, a few months from graduating, on Friday, homecoming weekend, stayed home from school and shot himself. Is there a why in all of this? None that I am aware of, however, I am an outsider watching the pain, palpable and real.
Excitement had been building all day anticipating the weekend events and then a cloud of rumors, whispers, furtive looks.The announcement to gather in the Community area; classes huddling together waiting. The silence so eerie; the sobbing so quietly, wondering and waiting to hear; stunned, not caring that everything planned for the weekend, cancelled.
Only 40 students in the graduating class; the Captain, the President gone…thirty-nine students sitting in shocked silence. No one could fill the void; the next few months to get through; a rip in the cloth of their being for the rest of their lives.
The sky was bright and blue and the weather was cold; they stood by the large, brick sign where all the flowers slowly accumulated. Were there signs? Who missed them? Who failed to train the teachers on what to look for in their interaction with their students every day.
Not only do teachers need to know their subject matter but also how to read the signs of distress tearing the soul of the individual apart until they can only see one way out…death.
This is a lot to expect from teachers who are already over extended, however, having been trained to read the red flags, I expect this and am wounded when those expectations fall far short of what is.
The invisibility factor arises again; knowing my broad background; they thought they did not need me.
Driving home; thinking about life and what it means I reached some conclusions:
Ordinary people make up the majority of mankind.
Extra Ordinary people are rare….I do not mean to take away from the billionaires….I do not count them as extra ordinary. I think of how they may have stolen their ideas from their roommate or others…these are folk who prey on other folk…they are not rare; they are business sleuths; the dollar means more than the real stuff of life.
Those who are rare are the thinkers who go silently about doing what is right trying to change what is into what could be.
This is as far as I could see except for the question that kept playing in my head: So this is all there is?
Please do not tweet or share, if you read this. Your thoughts are welcome. Perhaps it will help me sort through the layers here.