Streaming thoughts

Cassiopeia A: Cassiopeia A in Many Colors

Cassiopeia A: Cassiopeia A in Many Colors (Photo credit: Smithsonian Institution)

  oh how i hate holidays from halloween to the ides of march or later i hate holidays they took away so many things and added things like black friday i wonder what happened to white friday or blue friday maybe even a purple friday but no we have to have black friday not ever having been i do not know what people do i stay home and watch the television version of what happens i dont want anything anymore therefore there is no need to go i like animals but during this season i do not like people i am a grumpy old woman knowing that life is short and i should be happy to be here for holidays but what are we celebrating thanksgiving or christmas chanukah or something in between like thankmas or chrisgiving or some new combination of words i do not care whether you like or not this is how i feel and for once i thought i would write it down   wrote my obituary today wanted to save my children the problem of what to say and stored it online under lindas obit hopefully they will find it my ashes are to be scattered in the winds it was a nice day to write an obit now i almost have all my funeral plans down rather celebrating a life if one cares to celebrate and if not i will not know will i   the wind chimes chimed the wind blew tumbling the leaves hither and yon a squirrel scratched around to see what was under the leaves sorry i have not left anything recently for him and the rabbits must be gone cause the lettuce looks forlorn and wilted in the grass   my neighbors yards are all nice and free of leaves i like leaves it gives a sense of years falling away and sometimes leaving only a tenuous link of one leaf to fall or not sort of like life sometimes it is simply one thing that keeps us from turning lose and going on to another place hopefully more intelligent than this one   i must say that even my friends the few i have have commented on how out of sorts i am perhaps i will evaluate this year and what it means to not have enough time to grieve for all those who went off and left me here   i wonder the color of the universe i wonder the color of friendship of worship of sharing and thinking do they have colors or are they just a neutral color i like to think that perhaps they may be silver gold rough smooth and haunting in many colors   happy thanksgiving, thankmas, chrisgiving or whatever you are celebrating this week may the colors of the universe bless you with vision  

 

19 thoughts on “Streaming thoughts

  1. Happy Thanxgiving Day, young lady! 🙂 It’s as important as X-mas in America… during our 5 years in Houston, TX we never celebrated halloween or l’action de grâce… You’re a rebel with several causes… 🙂 welcome to the club! 😉 cheers, Mélanie

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  2. and now we have black friday here too even though our thanksgiving is in october it’s all so ridiculous they should grow up get a grip and stop copying everything they do in the states and get an identity of their own a person born blind wouldn’t know about colours and could ask what colour is the wind happy chanukka 😀

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  3. Hey Miss Linda, I appreciate my “crabby old lady” friend. I prefer you right out your feelings than to just simply hide in a corner and disappear from your blog. You are the only blog I stopped to read in several days, because for the first time in ages I’m busy with family. I can’t remember the last time I had a nice Thanksgiving. I’m sorry you are out of sorts. I hope you can find some peace very soon. I will put you in my morning prayer/meditation. Hugs.

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    • How very touching that you stopped at my blog to cheer me up. I hope peace arrives soon and appreciate the morning prayers and meditation. Hope your family are with you for the weekend for this once in a lifetime celebration!
      Hugs

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      • How in the world did I write – right – for write? Bleh. I hate when I screw things up like that. Boy, do I ever feel like a doof. Anyway, yes, my family and I celebrated at my house yesterday for the first time ever. It was wonderful.

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  4. Hey good morning, Linda. Sorry to hear that you’re out of sorts. What I liked about this stream of consciousness is that you started sharing your honest feelings and then wrapped it up by wishing well to others, even praying for blessings. You’ve lost so many friends in recent years. Perhaps Grief has moved in with you and wants a space in your life as well. Perhaps you’ll have to set another tea cup for her and give her plenty of time to cry.

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    • Hi Kathy, yes,I must set another cup for tea! Grief has settled in and depression has cast a blanket over the entire house. Tears have washed down the few meals I have tried to eat. It came on rather suddenly and every day I make myself do things, however, I do not go out. I do not wish to visit my aloneness or sadness on others. I think I need time to think of each person who contributed so much to my life and know they would not want me to be so sad. After all the laughter, after all the shared moments, I must celebrate having had the good fortune to have known them.
      Thank you for your good suggestion. I have these two lovely hummingbird cups. I shall get them down to use!

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      • I once read that we must cry a lake so that our loved ones can canoe to the other side. So many people say that to me about how they don’t want to share their sadness with others, but sometimes sadness can balance things out, too, and help heal us all.

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  5. A thought to think about. I could play a “but” game, however, perhaps I recognize the value of your comment and wish I thought my family knew how to listen…perhaps I sell them short as well as my friends.
    I am the one they come to with their problems; they do not know how to deal with this person.
    I think losing George was the straw.
    As one who taught psychology for years, I know I must heal myself.

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