Cooking school for dummies

For those of you following my not finishing my taxes, I made dog biscuits yesterday.  Today I am boiling cinnamon sticks  to fumigate the house.

The dogs in my life belong to other folk; four here; five in another state, so even though I don’t cook , I just knew I could make dog biscuits.

The recipe was simple: mix together 2 cups of flour and 1 cup of rolled oats (I thought that possibly meant Quick Cooking Oatmeal), 1/3 cup of peanut butter and 1 1/4 cup of hot water. Got that all done and had a big ball of sticky stuff.

Found a plain cloth; dusted it with flour; found my rolling-pin at the back of the cast off “thing” drawer and rolled out the dough. So far, so good.

I had such fun using a rolling-pin that I think I might have rolled the dough a tad thinner than a quarter of an inch. However, onward…I cut them out with canape cutters borrowed from my neighbor, the cook with everything. This took a long, long, time. They were very small. Gave those up and used an apple core cutter to finish some more and finally, in desperation, I simply cut strips. (Who knew dough multiplied all on its own.)

Greased 3 cookie tins (well actually one cookie tin, one pizza pan, and one square pan) and carefully placed all those little things on the pans.

Knowing my oven cooks higher than the dial states, I still dutifully set the temperature to 350 and turned the timer to 40 minutes.

About 30 minutes into the cooking, there was this smell that had turned from peanut butter to something else.

Knowing that the dogs were all going to love me, I ignored the smell, kept watching the news; finally the buzzer!

Carefully I looked into the oven….

Aren’t dog biscuits kinda brownish?

What are these black things staring back at me?

Found the Febreeze.  Sprayed everywhere. Now, my house smelled like burned peanut butter covered with Febreeze.

To add insult to injury, while I was writing this post, the water boiled out of the pot with the cinnamon sticks; the pot stuck to the hot eye, and when I pulled the pot off the eye, I could see light through the hole in the bottom.

Perhaps I should just redo the kitchen and make a home office. Or better yet, I could start a cooking school for dummies!

Any suggestions?


18 thoughts on “Cooking school for dummies

  1. You know, there is a television show called Worst Cooks In America, where people can be taught by the experts how to cook. Perhaps I’ll enter your name. Although, I don’t think they teach how to make dog biscuits. You know I’m just teasing you. I feel the loving intention from your heart, and I’m grateful you didn’t burn the house down. Hugs.


    1. If there were such a school, I would like to go! Would be great fun. I do love the dogs and wanted to do something for them. My mom would say, “Go practice the piano” and shooed me from the kitchen. She did not make dog biscuits, just to be clear. I am grateful I did not burn the house down as well.
      Thank you for your thoughts,


      1. My mom always shooed me out of the kitchen too, except we didn’t have a piano. I was left to fend for myself. Usually went next door to my best friend’s house, or rode my bike to Grandma’s several blocks away. I wrote about this very thing in my short story anthology … not knowing how to cook when I moved out of the house (got married), and then how I learned.


  2. I think we’ve all had those moments along the way … thankfully I haven’t had any lately. Burnt Dog biscuits and dried up cinnamon — did Febreze really take care of that 🙂

    Take care Linda!!


    1. No, I had to open all the doors and let the air flow through while the temperature was hovering around 40 degrees! The wind was blowing with a wind chill, they said of 28.
      Dogs will have to have their owners buy them doggie treats whether healthy or not!


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