Potholders

Today I am at a total loss; I feel totally alone with people in the neighborhood all around and enjoying the somewhat spring like day.

I washed my clothes and hung them on the line for the sun to dry.

I wished for the clothes line at my old home place; a line that may be gone now. I do not know for sure; whether it has been knocked down, stolen, or just went the way of all things left untended.

I remember the last time I hung items on that clothesline…pot holders…all of Mother’s pot holders. I wonder why I felt I had to wash all of them but I did and hung them out. I was packing up my childhood home; crying at the loss of days and nights and times and events; but it was time to turn loose and go because Mother could not stay there anymore by herself and now I know that she did not really want to leave nor did she want to stay. That is how I feel. I don’t want to stay nor do I want to leave because I don’t know where to go. I don’t belong anywhere and yet I belong everywhere.

So today, I am lost.

10 thoughts on “Potholders”

  1. I’m so sorry you feel that way. A sense of belonging …I think that’s important — at least to me, it is. There are days when I don’t know where I belong either. «Home» will always be another country. Even though I hear you, about being sad as you washed the pot holders, I think you could perhaps also be very thankful to have had a childhood that made you feel that way. I’ve only felt a little hint of what you described, once when my uncle said he’d sell the house where we lived … I did feel a little bit upset over that, but it didn’t happen. Otherwise, it’s pretty much gray…

    Days like that, I try to cut out the ‘outer world’ … I go into the ‘online one’ instead..

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    1. Thanks, Rebekah. I have chosen to spend it with my next door neighbor since her daughter left, after six months here with her after her stroke. We have had lunch and are going for a drive.

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  2. “I don’t want to stay nor do I want to leave because I don’t know where to go. I don’t belong anywhere and yet I belong everywhere.” This describes the way I feel, too.

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  3. Linda, I understand. I have had to move around a bit as you well know. I guess it is realizing the moment. Knowing when a time is ending and a new one begining. Everything within its season. Just like the verse from the Bible, so beautifully put to music years ago. So in knowing those seasons in your life, you will also know where you should be, and who if at all you should be with. You can share with others or even with just yourself. For truly you are never alone.
    —- Bobby

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  4. Sending you a bunch of hugs–don’t worry, I have plenty extra! God bless you today, and always. Caddo

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    1. Linda, I’m going to tack an additional note on here, re your question at my blog about the short story. The “Flavia” saga or “serial” goes back a ways–it started out as “The Neighbor” Series. If you’re interested in getting caught up with background and characters, you might begin with “The Neighbor’s Husband” which is the premiere episode.

      It’s been somewhat difficult for readers to navigate to where the stories are located/posted–I recommend going to my first Archive month, August 2011. There are 11 episodes in Series 1–then Flavia continues with Series 2–and the episode you just read is Ep 7. If this is too confusing, let me know–I’ll try to assist you further–assuming you’re interested in reading all the stories.

      People seem to have either “gotten hooked” immediately–or they don’t really care for them. Either way, I appreciate your question, and that you read Ep 7–thank you!! Have a blessed day.

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