Today I am at a total loss; I feel totally alone with people in the neighborhood all around and enjoying the somewhat spring like day.
I washed my clothes and hung them on the line for the sun to dry.
I wished for the clothes line at my old home place; a line that may be gone now. I do not know for sure; whether it has been knocked down, stolen, or just went the way of all things left untended.
I remember the last time I hung items on that clothesline…pot holders…all of Mother’s pot holders. I wonder why I felt I had to wash all of them but I did and hung them out. I was packing up my childhood home; crying at the loss of days and nights and times and events; but it was time to turn loose and go because Mother could not stay there anymore by herself and now I know that she did not really want to leave nor did she want to stay. That is how I feel. I don’t want to stay nor do I want to leave because I don’t know where to go. I don’t belong anywhere and yet I belong everywhere.