Reflections on Divorce

Divorce, I understand. There is no such thing as a friendly divorce, nor easy. You may have felt that you were alone before and perhaps you were; you weren’t; now you will know what alone means.

This world in which we live revolves around two’s. An even, natural number; one is an odd number; folk do not seem to know what to do with a one. Take one shoe; unless you have only one leg and one foot, of what use is one shoe? a male one is more acceptable compared to a female one.

A female one gets seated in out-of-the-way places; not given good service; placed (so the servers think with great pity) in places that others will not observe they are alone. At church, the good God fearing folk developed classes particularly for one’s; was it really for them? or was it because they did not know how to include a one with two’s?

Every major institution developed a service for the minority of one’s; for their own good, of course. Why? Because the wary two’s did not know what to do with the renegade one’s. If the coin were flipped you might find that the majority of ones (particularly the snobbish intellectual ones, like me) chose a one for survival.

My time became my own; my soul became my own; my thoughts became private only to me; the world and those about me became clothed in a different hue and I learned that one’s can be alone without being lonely; that suffering meant I could also experience and know greater joy; that the challenges I conquered were based on my courage and initiative; I was me, one, for better, for worse; til death.

I became true to me and my values; because I loved and respected me more, I had more to give away; my children faced new growth though challenges they had to meet. We all grew with each other and became the best that we could.

7 thoughts on “Reflections on Divorce

  1. Oh, I understand divorce. I’ve chosen the one-ness several times … in fact, the major part of my life I’ve lived with myself. I also understand the difference between being alone as compared to being lonely. BIG difference. I was quite happy in my one-ness. Except in the grocery store, where the steaks were always packed two on each tray. 😉

    Divorce is never easy, but I did it for survival.

    I’m happy now, living in a relationship, but it sure took me a long time… and I would never waste a minute of my life on a lousy relationship.

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    • right … salmon steaks are sometimes on their own, but then they’re large.

      What I also found … but that was because I was living in a small apartment, with not so much storage space … was that I could rarely take advantage of all those deals in the stores. My freezer was too small…

      Either way, I had a good life on my own, and I often thought about that too. Good job, nice apartment.. et cetera.

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      • You’re right. I go sometimes go to those big “club” stores like Sam’s and Costco and buy toilet paper and paper towels….they are gigantic and last a year. One neighbor knows when she runs out of either that I always have a lot of this stuff hidden in my cabinets. Thank heavens this house has more storage than one could ever imagine!

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  2. I can completely relate to the 1s status and remember that feeling after being divorced and thinking I’d never be in a 2 again. Then I thought back to how I lonely I was when I was IN an awful relationship. To me, that was far worse. Regaining my independence and having my own say was liberating….. I’d not want to go through it again but knowing that I did tells me I could. And there’s something powerful in that.
    MJ

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