Robot Person Rant

As the little robot, I know I am invisible except to a few. These few are as crazy as I am; and, they think differently. Even though we may be the crazy ones, we are also the ones that have are will change the world. There are so many puppets who follow the pied piper and cannot think unless someone tells them what to think. Therefore, our world as we know it may soon stop to exist; a new world order is needed and we need the crazy geniuses to order that universe, to think different, to create and to forge a new path.

From early on as a child I saw things differently. I knew there must be somewhere or something other than a paper fan or a window fan that would keep a person cool. I knew there were other places to live. I just did not know how to get there. I saw things no one else saw and felt things that no one else felt. I was different; called the trouble maker; insisted on honesty and truth but, early on, found very little of this.

My classmates ridulced me: I was called four eyes; red on the head; mocked for my lisp; and soon learned that the best I could do was to line folks up to fight. That meant I would be sent to the office and spanked and respanked at home but it stopped the riducle. Today it would be called bullying but noone stood up for me; I was the one who was punished. And you wondered why I am so crazy. I learned to trust only myself; nothing much changed as I went through life.

Maybe I did not expect enough; maybe I did not believe in myself but even when my ex-husband was dating young girls, somehow my mother and sister found that it had to me and what I had done. So the second time I married they absolutely deplored him and I was trapped between a husband I did not like much and a family that did not want to see me because of him.

Therefore, when the opportunity came along to become an Administrator of an abortion clinic, I found my niche. I could help young ladies on probably the worst day of their lives. I was not ridiculed and I became the best Administrator with the best clinic ever. I was good at this. I understood bad days and it seemed that the right words always came as I spoke individually to each young lady.

Now, as an old person, I feel invisible. I try to help people. I do random acts of kindness. I say to God that I know he knows I am here but he sure does not seem to care what happens to me and some of the ones I care about. Are we the cursed ones? I sometimes wonder.

I know we are the crazy ones; yet, I also know that we are the geniuses who will change the world. I might have been ridiculed, however, I was also the smartest, the most intelligent and even though I had a lisp, I knew what I knew and by not talking and with them not listening they did not learn what I knew.

I grew wiser; more depressed; more hopeful; more certain that by being me I had made a difference to a few people along the way. The rest….well, they were lost to begin with.

Yep, egotistically maniac; multiple personalities;  OCD….Bachelors in English and French; Masters in Special Education; a second masters in Psychology; and a doctorate in Urban Higher Education. Enough to drive anyone crazy because there were other classes of other things in between.

You can call this a rant.

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