August 14

on this day my dad died no more father’s day cards to purchase no more Christmases to share no more watermelons, peanuts, corn to look forward to in the summer months these being his crops the rest he helped my mom with my boots would not be shined with that fatherly spit he had aptly learned in the navy and no more rocking on the front porch so many things taken for granted so many days lost away from the farm but he would not have had it any other way he once said to me children belong in their own home and he was right we all belong in our own space and even though our spaces overlap worlds overlapping for a short time our world is where we stay most within our sphere our friends but one must always remember that there are two people to bring into that world of ours our parents who brought us into this world we may have chosen our parents because we had lessons to learn but they learned lessons from us as well and the world never notices or maybe we do not notice that it notices would i wish him back no that is counter productive to living ones life if I were Emily in Our Town i might choose a christmas and not my 12th birthday to go back but im not dead yet and even though yesterday i might have wished for death today i am here and will enjoy those precious memories i have of a loving kind father even if he did drink too much it was after all his life

9 thoughts on “August 14

  1. We share in our deep loves for our fathers. Mine was my mentor & best friend also. He taught and showed me much that developed my spiritual direction. I lost him 4 years ago from Alzheimers. 94, bless his heart. Miss him dearly.

    To add to your “wishing” thought:

    “I wish I could stop dreams,
    pull them out,
    shape them in front of me;
    if this feat I could accomplish,
    you would be here,
    instead of there.”

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  2. a lovely tribute and i understand somehow even though i was only two when my father died i’ve always missed him strange as it may sound why was it that you wished for death yeasterday? too hot?

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  3. My dear father died in 1992. I didn’t get time to mourn him as I was too busy looking after my mother. She is still alive – I’m dreading her death as I will then be mourning them both.

    ((((((HUGS)))))) from the UK

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    • Thank you and know that you can grieve for both at the same time in different ways.

      My mother died in 1995 followed by the death of both of my brothers in 1996…one in July and the other on Christmas Eve…

      Somehow we go on for them…as one brother said to me when the Olympics were in Atlanta…”you go for me” and so I did. He did not live long enough to see all the pictures I made for him so I placed them in his casket. Why? Made me feel better…
      Hugs back to you.

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  4. I don’t think it matters how many years pass, we never get over it, time does not heal, that is a lie. What happened for me is that I could begin to compartmentalize the grief so that it didn’t wash over and debilitate me and that allowed me to separate out the sweet stuff. And it’s the sweetness that I cling to, that makes me giggle and brings a tear to my eye all in one. Your post reminded me of that and I’m sorry for your loss.
    MJ

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