Letting Go

Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?

― Mary Manin Morrissey

 

Which one to let go?

Hurt?

Fear?

Pain?

 

Fear has never been a problem for me, so I do not have to let it go. It has been gone since I was 25.

 

What about you? Can you choose one?

 

Since Fear was not something I had to let go, I choose:

Pain.

Posted in psychology | 9 Comments

The Most Boring Post I Have Ever Written

It is an unseasonably cool July morning. In reviewing  yesterday, we are told it was the coldest day in July ever recorded. The rain was incessant. I decided to stay in bed, which I did only getting up for something to drink or to go to the bathroom. No one called.

I think I could repeat all the current news stories verbatim. I have/had been going to Tai Chi or a Balance class every day. I gained a pound so I guess my muscles increased. Good theory at least. Yesterday I did not go. Lying in bed all day made realize how tired I really was and my legs cramped bring on a lot of water consumption a d banana eating. I usually drink vinegar and water each morning but this did not appeal to the mood of the day. I have heard or read in old home remedies it this is also good for leg cramps. Seems the water, rest and bananas did the trick.

 

This could be the most boring post I have ever written.

 

 

Posted in psychology | Tagged | 7 Comments

Response to Lake Superior Spirit’s Lovely, Lyrical Blog Post re Facebook

This article was featured on LinkedIn

The opinion expressed is the author of this article. I may or may not agree. I simply think that people should follow their heart with knowledge of where their heart is leading them. Kathy writes lovely lyrical posts that pull at your heart-strings. I worry about her and her transparency which is so rare these days. Therefore, this is to simply offer another opinion from a person who is worried.

An Open Letter To Mark Zuckerberg

Dear Mark,

My name is Chris and recently I casually wrote an article on LinkedIn, the largest social network for professionals, sharing my personal experience on why I quit Facebook.

Never would I have thought my post gathered almost half-a-million reads in a week, with over 10,000 shares on LinkedIn, thousands of new followers to my posts, and most interestingly and ironically, over 5,000 of your own Facebook ‘like’. My article becomes the weekly most discussed on LinkedIn thanks to the overwhelming responses and discussions it initiates. People told me my article is momentarily blocked on Facebook, and some of your own staff have been checking out my Linkedin profile. I know my voice is being heard.

People from all over the world who I never met, after reading my article, send me messages and tweets telling me how much I speak their minds. The big picture here is that Facebook leads every social site in online privacy issues. What strikes me is that even for many who have already quit your site, Facebook remains a very personal matter. People struggles to decide whether they should quit, because there are many personal connections at stake. They are afraid that quitting your site means being disconnected from their own social network and becoming isolated. In my opinion, your site should not be like drugs that gets people addicted. Your site should be a nutritious meal where people feel energized after ‘consuming’ it.

Facebook was a great tool for me. I used to use your site to keep in touch with my friends and peers; I was able to re-connect with my long lost peers; I read funny quotes and received adorable pictures; I used Facebook to organize events and it was a fantastic way to gather people. Unfortunately in recent years, for me, Facebook has become the equivalent of a Digital Dumpster: chaotic and ever-changing privacy settings, useless ads among my news feeds – just to name a few. I didn’t feel comfortable putting anything on it anymore. And then there is the Timeline, where your site wants us users to put all our live’s matters onto it, all the way back to the times when we were born. It was that moment I told myself ‘Thanks, but No Thanks’.

Voltaire, the famous French Enlightenment writer and historian, once said, ‘With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility’. Although not exactly Spiderman, you are the chairman and chief executive of the most popular and largest social network on earth, therefore you have the responsibility to provide an environment where people can share and interact without worrying about personal data being violated.

I admire you and your wife’s recent philanthropic works. For starters, Priscilla and myself share the same last name and speak the same Cantonese dialect. I also admire Priscilla’s decision to be a physician in San Francisco serving underprivileged families and children. She chose to make a difference in people’s lives. I think Facebook can do that as well – make a difference in people’s lives instead of exploiting users’ privacy and data in the name of profits.

I want to come back to Facebook as an user. I want to connect with my online friends once again. I want to see what they are up to. But until the day I feel comfortable enough sharing anything on Facebook, I will avoid your site like a plague. Can you please help ex-users like me rebuild the lost confidence of using your social network?

However, I guess it is not easy for you and your team to bring Facebook back to the ‘good ol’ days’, where users can share and can feel safe that their personal data are not being mined continuously and unconsciously to satisfy marketers and advertisers; where psychological experiments are being conducted with users’ consent; where privacy settings are robust and are easy to understand; where news feeds are not being manipulated and users can see friends’ updates that are important and are meaningful to them; where users do not have to remember to opt out on various marketing initiatives; where hackers (or smart engineers) are synonymous with white-hats; where apologies are properly made when privacy of users have been clearly violated; where parents do not have to worry about their kids meeting strangers on your site; where my every move on the web are not tracked by your cookies. After all, shareholders are king and they want to see increased profitability above anything else.

I understand that change is uncomfortable and sometimes painful, but our world changes every day. Humanity embrace changes therefore we have progress as a society. I dream that one day the largest social network will become a destination everyone enjoys hanging out on.

Yours Truly,

Chris

—–

Follow me on Twitter at @ChrisChanAtWork.

image courtesy of Getty Images

 

Posted in psychology | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Bees and Butterflies

There is a song: Where have all the soldiers gone….

Now I ask:

Where have all the bees and butterflies gone?

Without bees civilization is doomed.

What happened to the bees?

Who killed the bees?

Perhaps the Universe will intervene

and

save the bees and the butterflies…

Posted in psychology | 10 Comments

Tears…

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”

― Washington Irving

This week I started packing my parents items in my home. My daughter had asked if I would do this because they do not visit enough to know what came from where. Therefore, I said I would do so and write the stories that went with them, as I remember to the best of my abilities.

I started in the kitchen.

As I looked at the pots and pans, cast iron skillets and utensils, I began to cry. It was like burying my mom all over again and packing up the things I brought to my house and remembering how the four of us divided things up. Now two brothers are gone as is the things they had that was Mom’s.

Stopping the process of packing. I sat and thought about that time so long ago and how hard it was to go back through and think of how many hours she had cooked those great meals that we probably never thanked her for or said how great they were.

The time is past and it is necessary for the next generation for me to tell the stories so my mom lives on after me. My two children remember her but she never saw my grandchildren.

No one calls her name that I know. I talk to her and Daddy. I talk to Raggedy Ann every morning and night and tell her my stories; the stories of growing up on a farm way the back side of nowhere; wanting to escape and now not being able to find my way back.

Isn’t life strange? Always longing for what we had after it is gone; realizing the worth after the fact; rejoicing over the good times and grieving for the lost times.

Learning to sit in the silence (yes, I know that is the name of a book, however, I said that phrase before I knew there was a book) can be helpful. Weighing the merits of my own life and what I will live behind.

What will they remember about the things I leave behind? They can not have any memories because they were not here when I purchased most of my things. My house was filled with family items. So I guess my stories are two fold…my past, their past.

I do not want to stay here, neither do I want to go back. Mother and Daddy were so proud that I had made my way away from the farm to a better place. Little did they realize that they were in the best place.

Thank you for reading and if you feel like making a comment, please do. I never know what to write anymore.

Posted in psychology | 16 Comments

My quote

“The brain is billions of complex cells and sometimes I think it teases us to come out and play to learn.”

—-Linda Bourgeois, Ph. D.

this came out

in a

comment

on Lori’s Lane.

I sometimes do not know what my comment is actually going to be until I start typing the response and turn my fingers loose letting the process go forward without putting my brain in gear!

How do I do this?

Posted in Did You Know, quote | Tagged , | 6 Comments

Happy Birthday

Two reasons to celebrate:

happy birthday

to my

son

and to

America!

Posted in Do you want to change the world | Tagged , , | 17 Comments