A Roach and A Rat

She awoke early on Friday; today she would have her photo made and buy a new car tag. All the documents were in order to take to the License Director.

After taking a shower she was blow drying her hair when a big fat wood roach landed on the bathroom counter beside her lamp. She actually thinks he landed on her and then on the counter. Taking the hair dryer she kept blowing the big brown roach around until she got him in the lavatory where she tried to drown the poor roach who was only trying to find a warm nesting place, however, they do carry a lot of bad things, she thinks. The water all runs out and its little legs are still moving (being on its back), she grabs up some toilet paper and scoops him up and flushes him down the commode. By this time her hair was dry and did not look at all like she wanted it to look.

Gathering up her documents (after eating the usual rye bread with peanut butter) and the requisite cup of black coffee, she exited the back door into the garage and proceeded the half mile down the street to start the process. Being the first one there she chose the clerk who looked the oldest thinking they would know more. Alas, this person was in training so the supervisory had to help, but I do get ahead of myself. She asked if she could have her photo for her license made first, she said, while she was still smiling. They agreed making sure she had the cash to pay for the renewal of the driver’s license. Of course, she had the cash. After the Target debacle, she is back to paying cash for everything. They had to make the photo twice because the first one she had her eyes closed; the second one, in my observer’s opinion should have been remade too. It looks like she has a Mohawk, but they assured her no one ever looked at driver’s license photos and they had seen worse (I wonder where).

She gave them the title to the car; the name change from the Court and the insurance card. She had to buy a tag for 2 weeks costing three dollars and seventeen cents; buy a tag for those two weeks and pay to have the title changed from one name to another. This all took about one hour and fifteen minutes.

She had an appointment to be at the new Exercise place at 11 a.m. Finishing up with the tag and driver’s license stuff she goes outside to find she has a citation for parking in a handicap space. Now we know she has a few mental problems, however, she actually has a handicap tag because her left knee is bone on bone and hurts sometimes. She had taken in the hanging tag to exchange it for a handicap tag, therefore, there was nothing on the car to say the car or her were handicapped. Back in she goes to ask for help and they said to call the municipal court building. This she does and was told to bring it on down to the Municipal building that he was at “the window” and would waive the fee for her. By this time she knows she is going to miss her appointment but with luck she could spin on down and get this taken care of since the man was “at the window”. She thinks it is like a drive through.

She gets to the municipal building and goes in. OOPS she is in the county jail with the prisoners. Once again she has the handicap hanging thingy in her hand; an officer is going out but she grabs him and ask him to please not to give her another citation that she already has one and is trying to find the man at the window to waive the fee for her. The officer laughs and states he would not give her a ticket; that she was in the wrong building and needed to go to the building with the mushroom on top. He pointed it out to her. She asked about the window, but alas, there is no drive through window; she would have to go inside.

She goes to this building and finds that she has to almost strip to pass through the metal detector to get to the window where there is a man but there were also some women. The line is kinda long and she observes the lady of the night in her very high heels who is “bonding out”; the wife who is paying over three hundred dollars for her husband who was going 90 in a 45 mile speed zone (and she thought going 85 in a 60 mile speed zone was fast) and finally the young lady, after hearing her story takes the citation and the handicapped hanging thingy and makes a copy and gives it back to her (she did not park in a handicap spot to conduct this business.)

It is now 11 a.m. so she calls her neighbor and ask if she would look up the number to the Exercise place; she was given a number to call; she called the number and got some young lady on the other line who stopped her laughing saying it was a good story but they were a store that sold exercise equipment and could not help her.

She proceeded to go to the place to apologize; getting there at 11:25 a.m. She explained the situation and the young man laughed and said it was a good story and rescheduled her for Monday afternoon, as well as a telephone number to call in case “something came up” again.

She left there and went to Sam’s to get a bra hearing that they had one that was really comfortable. Her knee was really hurting and popping. She walked back and forth looking for things that were small and not enough to feed an army. Of course, this was not the kind of place a Sam’s is but in desperation she went one last time across the store to see if they had ginger ale. That was the last straw. No ginger ale; a lady asked if she were going to have knee surgery because she could hear the cracking of the knee and then proceeded to tell her if she fell she would not be able to get up if she had knee replacement; she would need help getting up. Living alone this would not be good she thought as she once again looked for butter beans to no avail. Not even a large bag. This was becoming a true nightmare.

When the lady at checkout asked if she found everything o.k. she said “No” and the lady made the mistake of asking her what she did not find and she proceeded to name off all the things she had not found; the manager was listening; the line was getting longer; and then the lady wanted to know if customer service had been o.k. and she said “What customer service?” “There was none…there were customers helping customers (she guessed) but there were no associates on the floor”.

She started toward the door; spied the Returns counter; proceed to go over to it and ask for a refund of her membership; the lady was startled but said they did guarantee 100% satisfaction and asked what was wrong. I asked if she wanted me to go back over my list with her; that I had spent $170 + dollars and had nothing but cake, bananas, and blueberries to eat. She said “no that was o.k.” and called for the manager because they very seldom ever refunded memberships. He came over. The same one who had heard her diatribe at the checkout counter, however, he never acknowledge that she was unhappy. She knew that she had once again become invisible. The refund clerk did suggest she go to WalMart to get smaller quantities and she stated she tried never to go to WalMart but found Dollar General and Target better for her needs. The clerk was astounded she would go to Dollar General.

She left Sam’s and headed for home; she stopped at the credit union to cash her $.31 cent Verizon check. They know her there and the first question she was asked if she were having surgery on her knees because they were popping so loud. She said “No” and proceeded to get her check cashed for $.31. The teller wanted to know why she had this check because she had cashed other checks for the same amount. She told the teller she did not have a clue. She received it in the mail and decided she would cash it because it was such a stupid thing for Verizon to send out $.31 checks that cost more to send than what they were sending.

Leaving there she went to Dollar General to get saltines Crackers, ginger ale and peanut butter not having bought the four boxes of crackers and the gallon of peanut butter at Sam’s and of course they had no ginger ale.

She told the manager there about her experience at Sam’s because she had left there with that one last parting remark. Having know this manager for a very long time, they had a good laugh. This time she truly was going home to put her leg up.

She pulled into the garage; got out to take her purse in before bringing in all the “stuff”. As she approached the back steps, lo and behold…..a dead rat in her way….so she backtracked and got some paper towels from the garage stash. Picked up the rat by its tail; opened the pedestrian door to dispose of the rat in the green trash bin.Coming back in she made sure she locked up because she thought it would be a long time before she went out again.

This was an awfully long day for her; she brought everything in; put it away; exercised her leg and vowed that she would live on whatever was in the house rather than go shopping again.

Having a live roach land on her to begin the day  and a dead rat blocking her entrance at the end of the day was just too much for one day.

Quietly we slip away

days run seamlessly together

birds waiting patiently

having faith

the feeder will be full

before the chipmunk returns

leaves swept clean by some

others watch them disintegrate

Christmas lights burn brightly

others stand in simple quietness

watching stars skittering across the sky

to fall

to wait

the world waits quietly

the universe

quietly waiting

waiting

watching

listening

the song

to hear

and then

slip quietly

away

Is it a Rant?

“Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” George Bernard Shaw

 

 

 

English: George Bernard Shaw date between 1900...

English: George Bernard Shaw date between 1900-1910 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

If you have listened to any news recently, you have heard talk of passing our debt on to future generations. A lot of talking heads, talk without saying anything, however, there are a few who make a case. I have my favorites, however, it is best not to talk politics or religion, lest I offend someone.

 

 

 

I have two grandsons. I wish I could see into the future to see what their world will be like when I am gone. Will the globe warm until it is unbearable? Will there be more and more massive tornado’s, hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, fires, mass killings, etc.?

 

 

 

Where will the children go as they grow? What will they do? Can they save the earth? Can they change the world?

 

 

 

Family Portrait - Montreal 1963

Family Portrait – Montreal 1963 (Photo credit: Mikey G Ottawa)

 

All of the ones we have in Washington right now need to go home and sit down! If I could I would get a street sweeper

 

 

 

A vintage ice cream truck

A vintage ice cream truck (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

and try to entice all the politicians, lobbyists, and D.C. folk into the streets… maybe with an ice cream truck tinkling its little bell with a call for “free Obamacream” loudly through its little microphone… that is a special kind of ice cream these days…I hear it is very good. Then I would sweep them all to a new state….one carved from vast expanses perhaps in the desert parts of the U. S. and give them some water and enough food to live on (from cans) along with spades, hoes, plows, mules, cows, goats, seeds…yes seeds, and let them toil away in the desert to try to grow their own food until they learned that they are nothing special. Let them think and learn to live with each other because only by helping each other will they live.

 

They have grown greedy with power; their mouths open to say nothing… Robert Frost states: “Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.”

 

Robert Frost

Robert Frost (Photo credit: Boston Public Library)

 

However, this is about not only my grandchildren but also yours. Should we all unite and demonstrate? Did we not do this when we were younger? I lived through many changes and this is the worst I have seen. I want better for the next generation. I want them to be able to run with the wind in open fields not filled with greenhouse gasses; I want them to have clean air to breathe; I want the tornado’s to go away; and the hurricanes; and the earthquakes and the floods, fires and all the things that Revelations speak about. Perhaps, I want for them peace on earth; the peace I thought we had back in the 40′s and 50′s when I walked the dirt roads to my grandmother’s house. I wished my grandsons could have walked to my house. I wish I had known how to cook; how to be a wife; how to make a husband happy.

 

 

 

Was I selfish? Was it all about me? Where did I get off the Merry-Go-Round; when did it even stop?

 

Merry Go Round

Merry Go Round (Photo credit: MOEVIEW is Aaron Molina)

 

 

I was ambitious; I wanted to “do good” for my parents sake; to make them proud. Would they not have been as proud if I had stayed home; had a garden; planted my flowers and tended the children; cooked breakfast, walked them to the school bus (where there were no guns) and schools without policemen and bars and locked doors? Wouldn’t they have been just as proud? would I not have served a greater purpose? I wanted more for my grandchildren? However, I sent my children out into the world as independent as I. They do not need me; I taught them well.

 

 

 

Technology takes away voices; planes take us to places to walk as in days of old; fences falsely keep us safe where there is no safe place.

 

 

 

The universe had a plan for me; did I miss the mark? Where was the mark? Did someone cut the tree down before I realized the mark was for me? Where did the time go; where did all the stuff come from; how do you make it go away?

 

 

 

I think this is a rant on life. Or, it could be another geriatric ramble through the back roads of my mind again.

 

 

 

Whatever it is I want it to go away as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where I was Born Revisited

English: Huff Hall at Pearl River Community Co...

English: Huff Hall at Pearl River Community College (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yes, I met my husband at Pearl River Junior College. He was a student and I was the speech/English Professor, however, I was only 2 years older. I tried dating another professor but he was rather dull and I preferred this younger person. Today, I probably would be jailed because I was 21 and he was 19. Is that a minor? I think so.

Anyway, we were married and I changed from teaching in college being far to young to know what I was doing. Remember I went to college to get a husband and failed. No one taught me how to teach so it was time to regroup and teach in high school which meant I had to go back to school to get more hours in how to teach.

Hancock North Central was my next place to teach after we were married. The school was located in Kiln, MS about 30 miles from the MS Gulf Coast. I car pooled with other teachers and we lived with his mother and father. Not the best but the only thing we could afford at the time. There were 3 generations living in the house. The Bourgeois’ were one of the oldest names in Waveland, MS and his father was Chief of Police; his mother worked doing something or other at City Hall and his uncle was the Mayor. Did not dare step out of line in that small town. Everyone knew everyone else or was related to everyone else.

I quickly became pregnant and of course the old biddy’s counted the months on me. I did not care because I knew and secretly smiled that they were off by one month….and they were. My son was born on July 4th. We were married the year before on September 9th if you would like to do the math yourself!

We moved that summer to Weir, MS because my husband was going to finish his degree in Math at MS State University. Therefore, the job teaching English in Weir, MS. That town is another story unto itself as is the story of my son….

I had a maid who came every day while I taught school in Weir. We were so poor that she felt sorry for us and would bring us food from her house. We paid her $25. a month and we lived in one room sharing a kitchen with this really old woman :) maybe 50 who taught at the school and had a big old house; one of the genteel folk of Weir.

Things began to go downhill but something happened during my time at Weir. For those of us alive we all remember the day, time and where we were when JF Kennedy was shot. I was sitting in my classroom, planning period, when the principal came and told me. That weekend we watched TV at my parents home in Sallis (about an hour away) the entire weekend. We would go almost every weekend so mother could give us food to take back. The car we had was mine from when I was teaching at Pearl River Junior College; a Chevrolet Impala, white with red interior…”See the USA, in your Chevrolet.”

English: 1959 Chevrolet Impala 2-door Hardtop

English: 1959 Chevrolet Impala 2-door Hardtop (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

He finished at State; my son was in the hospital; somehow I got pregnant again; and things became worse. I had a job teaching back on the coast, but resigned to take care of my son who had been given a year to live. My husband went off to work at the Stennis Center which was being built, at this time. A few buildings were open and they needed a mathematician.

During this time, a gay male friend of mine in the area stated that he tried to get me not to marry my husband because our backgrounds were so different. I think I was really miserable by this time. We had to travel to Jackson every other week to take our son to the doctor.

My daughter was born in Gulfport on May 23 and then my son went back in for his second surgery. A surgeon from Boston’s Children’s Hospital did the surgery. It was 8 hours long and I was told that if he survived the first 48 hours he might live 5 years. My mom, who was a nurse came to stay with me and we hired an RN to stay as well. My husband was so upset that he could not listen to the explanation from the doctors; this left me to deal with everything. By this time, he was working at the Corp of Engineers in Vicksburg, MS

English: The historic Mississippi River Commis...

English: The historic Mississippi River Commission (MRC) Building in downtown Vicksburg, Mississippi, USA. This building was constructed in 1894 and is listed in the U.S. list of historic federal buildings. The building is located at 1400 Walnut Street in the Uptown Vicksburg Historic District. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

and we had moved yet again to Clinton, MS to be closer to the doctor and he commuted to Vicksburg. Then we moved to Vicksburg. My son was better; I had a job teaching in the Vicksburg City Schools and we hired a maid/nanny for my daughter. She loved my daughter dearly.

I am now tired because the story does not get any better.

Later, I will revisit this untold tale.

Episcopal Church of the Nativity

English: Episcopal Church of the Nativity in H...

English: Episcopal Church of the Nativity in Huntsville, Alabama. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Episcopal Church of the Nativity is a church in Huntsville, Alabama. It was built in the Gothic Revival style in 1859. It is noted as one of the most pristine examples of Ecclesiological Gothic architecture in the South. Wikipedia
When I was in grad school, Emile, the ninth rector of this church, and I were in the same group in one of my Psychology Classes. He was funny and wise; we became good friends.
This church held the first vigil for Aids victim, I believe. I know I was there because I was a volunteer counselor for The Aids Action Coalition when Sandra Moon was the Director. She later became the President of the Huntsville City Council. We have remained friends for years. I think when folk go through so many deaths together, perhaps the silver thread binds you together.
She finally left; I stopped being a volunteer when the last of my clients died and I attended the last funeral. Emile retired and they named the Education Hall for him.
My photo….a glimpse from the Courthouse Square
DSCF0016 Church of the Nativity

From riding a little red tractor in MS to remotely driving a robot on the moon

Fred attending Senior Football Night, Kings Academy.
Fred attending Senior Football Night, Kings Academy.
Credits:
Tom Look

Fred J. Bourgeois, III has been dreaming and making plans to pursue space exploration from a very early age.

Growing up in a “NASA family” probably had a lot to do with that. Originally from Waveland, Mississippi, Bourgeois spent most of his childhood and pre-college years in Huntsville, Alabama, where he attended Virgil I. “Gus” Grissom High School along with scores of other NASA kids.

Bourgeois was early recognized for his mathematical talents, and went on to receive his BSCS degree from Tulane University’s School of Engineering. After attending the Tulane Graduate School, he began a career in academia teaching Computer Science at the University of Minnesota, and later for Eaton Corporation’s Information Management Systems Division, and several University extension programs.

Bourgeois’ teaching for Eaton included support for clients utilizing satellite systems and networks, and command, control, and communications programs. He next worked as a contractor on classified programs at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory near Pasadena, California.

Weary of the classified world, he moved to Santa Cruz, California (near Silicon Valley), where he initially worked for MetaWare Incorporated as a Senior Compiler Developer, and then into his own software development and consulting business, FREDNET.

Operating for more than 16 years, the company was renamed Applios Inc. (Applied Open Source Technology) in 1999 providing Software Development, Systems Engineering, Networking, and Information Security solutions. Applios’ former clients include Lockheed Martin, NEC, AMD, Transmeta, Resilience, Sun, SJSU, many Silicon Valley startup companies, and a number of local, regional, and national Internet Service Providers.

Fred is the Founder and Leader of Team FREDNET, the First and Only International Open Source Competitor for the Google Lunar X PRIZE. He entered this venture with two of his colleagues, Rich Core and Dan Smith by sending this email

“Doing the impossible. Going for the Lunar X PRIZE, open source. Interested in joining?”

They believed and as time passed so did 700 volunteers from 60 countries and 6 continents. Team FREDNET was one of the first ten Teams to enter the competition. Fred leads the Team in pursuit of the prize alongside billion dollar companies, yet the model for the Team is rooted in a small non-profit 501(c)(3). As an open source team, it gives everyone or “Everyman” the opportunity to have a voice and to become a part of the larger space community.

Adversity has been a way of life for Fred. At two, the doctors, after surgery, gave “Freddie” one year to live. His mom said: “He will live because he has something important to add to this world.” At three, the doctors, after eight hours of major reconstructive surgery, gave him 48 hours to live. An R.N. and his grandmother, an LPN, rotated standing by his bedside. His mom stayed awake for the 48 hours making sure he knew she was there telling him he would be o.k.. He survived. Dr. Lamar Weems, his doctor, stated solemnly: “Somebody up there likes him.”

Freddie and his mom spent that summer and fall of his third year of life living at University of Mississippi Hospital. He rode his little red tractor (the kind you move your feet to go forward) up and down the halls, pulling behind him a little cart with all the i.v. tubes and other paraphernalia keeping him alive. He laughed and smiled as he sped down the halls weaving in and out between the steady flow of patients, nurses, and doctors. They would smile back at him and shake their heads in awe…the “medial miracle” child.

Thanksgiving marked the day he came home only to begin a new chapter of going back to the hospital every other week for a year. Medical students studied Freddie’s medical history; he and his mom attended a few medical conferences to answer questions about the first two years of his life before the operations. Minutes turned into days and weeks and months and years with doctor visits scheduled monthly, semi-monthly, and yearly. Finally, at age five, Dr. Weems said: “Perhaps he will live a normal life. Perhaps he will live to be 62. We just don’t know. Bring him back at least every other year.” Contact sports were not allowed; that was the only precaution given.

Once you realize that you are going to die, regardless of age, you look at a broader scope and want to use everything to the max. Here is a child who knew his life would be limited but still kept reaching for the heavens and wanted to make a mark on it before he got there. In the words of Saul Alinsky: “Once you accept your own death, all of a sudden you’re free to live. You no longer care about your reputation. You no longer care except so far as your life can be used tactically to promote a cause you believe in.”

When the GLXP prize announced the challenge, Fred said: “This is what I am supposed to do.” The emails reached receptive minds of Core and Smith. Thus began the adventure to place a robot on the moon, travel 500 meters and stream video images back to earth.

Team FREDNET is a 501(c)(3) tax exempt non-profit research and education foundation that began with a vision of reaching the Lunar surface by developing all of the required systems using the same successful Open Participation model that worked so well to create other massively participatory software development programs. Specifically, the Space Development Program is based on past and ongoing developments of things like the protocols underlying the Internet (TCP/IP) and free and open software such as the Linux, FreeBSD, and Ubuntu operating systems. The Team just completed four years of development toward the first major goal (building the first privately funded mission to the Moon), and had a few success stories along the way.

Bourgeois states: “We’ve attracted and built a community of more than 700 volunteers from more than 60 countries on all 6 populated continents, which was a pretty good start. Our community covers a pretty diverse age range too, with volunteers ages running from 7 years old to ’70-something’. This community includes not only a lot of serious science and engineering talent, but also people from many other walks of life – because building a lunar mission requires more talents than just engineering and science. We accomplished a few pretty impressive things in the past few years, including being one of only six organizations in the world to be selected by NASA as a contractor in the Innovative Lunar Demonstrations Data (ILDD) program – which gives us an opportunity to provide data from our Lunar Mission to NASA scientists to help in the development of NASA’s future human and robotic Lunar missions.

“We’ve attracted some incredibly talented people into our leadership community, too. Mike Brown, Ph.D., who serves as the Richard and Barbara Rosenberg Professor of Planetary Astronomy at the California Institute of Technology, came on board early in 2011 as Chief Scientist to guide all science initiatives. Mike also offered a course at CalTech this quarter entitled Ge 194: Roving on the Moon, in which students were tasked to develop, design, and build a fully functioning prototype lunar rover capable of fulfilling the requirements of the Google Lunar X PRIZE‘ with the further incentive that a ‘successful design of this type has a chance of being incorporated into the lunar mission of Team FREDNET. (See the class web site at http://web.gps.caltech.edu/~mbrown/classes/ge194-glx/ for full details.)

“Our young volunteer participants have gained some notoriety as well these last two years. We’ve been working closely with several groups of young innovators (ages 7-18) who have built robots for a number of competitions. One of our young participant teams – the LegoAces of Granville, Ohio – won Second Place in the 2010 International LEGOTM MoonBots 1.0 Challenge, and this year reached even higher, taking the Grand Prize in the 2011 International LEGOTM MoonBots 2.0 Challenge! (Please read more about LegoAces on their web site at http://www.LegoAces.org/ – and sign up to Drive the Rover to Earn Your Lunar Drivers License!)”

Fred works from his home each day communicating with Team volunteers through Skype, email, text messaging and conference calls. He has crisscrossed the world bringing his message of “going for your dream” while building and binding the Team together. Dedicating his life to achieve this dream, Fred continues to inspire people of all ages to believe that conquering space will greatly benefit future generations.

Fred defied odds and lived to become a visionary, a leader, and a serial entrepreneur continuing to live his life doing what he loves. He represents the epitome of a Renaissance Man.

, Huntsville Computers Examiner

Linda Bourgeois (Davidson) author/editor: Remembering Margaret Mitchell (1992); author, A Process Report of the Service Delivery System in Alabama for the Developmentally Disabled and companion Summary and Conclusions (1981); author Minor Poets, Major People (1985); chapter in book: “History of…

Copyright: Linda Bourgeois, Ph.D.

Death and Dying,the Alpha and the Omega

English: Town Crier, Provincetown, Massachuset...

English: Town Crier, Provincetown, Massachusetts; from a 1909 postcard published by Provincetown Advocate, Provincetown, Massachusetts. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today I read the obituaries. No, I was not present in any column, however, there were many who were there. Mary. Bill. Tom. Alice. Jo Betty. Lillian. Zane. Henry.

Did they intend to be in this paper today? Were they prepared?

Did they have a wife or husband who will grieve their passing? sons? daughters? what was the sum of their being? Did they go peacefully? did they “settle” all their affairs?

The media always lets us know when celebrities die; those whom everyone knows but what about those whom everyone does not know?

Do we, like a town crier, stand at the corners of our neighborhoods and call out their names each Sunday?

Do we call a town hall meeting each month to extol what these members of society contributed on a local level or do we just stop our cars and wait patiently for the hearse to pass not knowing who is going to the final resting place here on earth?

We are all headed toward death each day but do we all die a little bit as we see the hearse pass? the friend die? the unknown soldiers die? reading the names in the paper?

Is having ones name in the paper all that is left unless you want to pay a huge sum to tell the story of your life? and can you really tell that story?

You, the person, lived that story and no one really, really knows what that story was; there are those who know Bits and Pieces; those who passed through your life for brief periods; those who stayed for awhile, yet no one has all the Bits and Pieces of your life cataloged in one place.Not on this earth plane.

Would we really want that? Would we want all to know the deepest part of our being? would we if we could, tell all there is to tell? would we truly reveal our most sacred self? our irritated self? our jealous self? our vengeful self? would we?

In all our lives there are endings and beginnings. I am experiencing the ending of three lives and the beginning of my grandsons life serving his Country. I hope his country…my country deserves him.

For all the things I did not know; for all the hours of trying to understand; for all those times that I wanted to be alone but he was here, they are days to remember and to know that they, too, served to bring a lesson to me about life which I had not learned.

When he reads my obituary, will he remember? what will my children remember? my friends? and you, my friends, in this world grown small by electronic devices portrayed in science fiction on so long ago, what will you remember?

Drat

Cliffs

Cliffs (Photo credit: Magnus Bråth)

Today started off wrong. The house was to hot last night to sleep well and I feel like a wrung out old rag.

Nevertheless, I must decide what I am going to wear going over the fiscal cliff. All night I pondered if it might be a formal affair or a casual affair. Cliffs are usually located outside so I decided that the black evening dress was inappropriate, however, the white ankle length dress I wore to one of my nephews’ wedding might work, however, the matching sandles might be a little cool for this time of year and high heels seem out of the question for this activity. I thought about carrying a purse, but there is no need for a purse. We are all going together and unless there is someway planned to catch us and spread us out when we go over the cliff we shall all be piled up together so need for a purse.

Pills for anxiety? ah yes, I think I shall take the entire bottle. Not knowing the depth I am falling or where the cliff is or how many millions or billions of people will be attending, I best order a refill and take those along with a bottle of water.

Will identity be needed, I wonder. Kinda like voting. What forms of ID will be acceptable? Probably no ID will be needed. We are all just going over the fiscal cliff. It could be like Alice falling into the rabbit hole. Does anyone remember if she took anything with her? I don’t think she did. We are bound to meet many interesting people over this cliff.

I wonder why our leaders are so engrossed with this fiscal cliff? If you pay into Social Security, is it still your money? or retirement? If you worked and made lots of money then is it not your money and why do you have to give it away to someone who did not work? Now I know I am not talking about those who served our country and came back without the ability to work or others which would take to long to identify here, however, able bodied folk should be working and that does not mean making meth or selling drugs, even though I guess one could call that a form of work. Everybody could all pitch in and help clean up our country…the roadways, the undergrowth in forests; the rundown houses…

I shan’t worry about all that. I have to decide what to wear and what to carry. Others are having a great time analyzing all that stuff for me.

If anyone has a map to the fiscal cliff could you send it along and let me know what you are wearing and taking with you? I really want to be prepared.

They do not say whether we are jumping, scaling down or falling off the fiscal cliff…they make it sound like a journey so I could be all wrong about what to wear. “We are going over the fiscal cliff….” Ummmm, what does this really mean?

Fiscal Cliff and Pied Piper

Today Grandson 1 comes back until January 7. The house will seem very full again.

Eating the “green stuff” that people in the south always seem to make at Christmas…something like jello with nuts (not at all like green eggs and ham)…and drinking the last of the coffee, I seemed to remember that yesterday I was untangling web footprints and that I have not finished the process. It seems arduous today especially when I think of all the photo storage sites I sent photos to…so best to make another pot of coffee first.

While coffee is making it is good to know whether something ended up in Spam and you might need to dig it out so to delay the untangling process, I check out the Spam folder. The computer warns you against opening emails in Spam and it reminds me of parents warning children before Christmas not to be peeking into any dark places because the troll might be there hiding to take you away. So not heeding the warning, I opened this email that startled me by telling me there was a “secret conspiracy that the government did not want me to know.” WOW! I knew there was someplace that knew I was not paranoid.

After about 1 minute of listening to the video, I did not know that I was the only one poor and that everybody else, including the government knew this secret of how to make billions of dollars. I guess I should have listened longer and sent it on up to DC since the Fiscal Cliff is upon us. The world did not end, however, I do not know if going over the Fiscal Cliff is sort of like following the Pied Piper. We have until Monday to decide if we want to follow our leaders over the cliff; but wait…I don’t think we have a choice. I think we gave it all away when we voted these folk into office.

I think I shall have another cup of coffee and save a few photos. After all, I have until Monday to find out if I went over the Cliff or not.

How to untangle the web footprints

Tree

Tree (Photo credit: blmiers2)

Today was a day filled with frustrating phone calls and screwed up passwords. I decided that I did not trust our government not to read or look into my pitiful finances so I would spend the day deleting online accounts and going back to paper…poor trees.

Last night the trees groaned and tossed and turned as the wind howled for hours. I then decided perhaps I could do with a few less trees because I did not know where to lie down to sleep thinking “if a tree fell into the house as it did once before where would I be the safest?” Not having a good answer it was time to think about whether I should actually plant more trees or cut down the ones I have.

Well, with that thought in mind, today as I was going back to paper I did not worry about the trees. Going backwards to paper is tough. After an entire day of talking with folk, I am worn out.

One lady at one credit card company said quietly: “I don’t trust our government either.”

Another lady did not understand what I wanted to do so I said: “Let us start over. Hello, my name is…and I would like to keep activated the payment I made today; however, delete any automatic debits from my account in the future.” Somehow, that never registered and as I reviewed my email there was a notification of how to reset my password…duh…I just ask them to delete my email from their database and my personal profile.

My mortgage on the house is with Citi. Did you know that Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae bought Citi and they cannot do anything but delete your information from their servers but not Freddie Mac? I pay Citi and I guess they pay Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae….maybe Maxine, I don’t know, but I have to find the email telling me who bought my home from Citi. I am going to refinance so my home is not owned by Freddie Mac. Perhaps it came through the mail and they used a tree. This paragraph makes no sense.

Tomorrow, I will have to go in person to a couple of places to deactivate some things. Then I know where some companies big servers are located and they will do what they can to erase footprints left.

Why? why do I feel that Big Brother is watching? why do I feel I have a tracking device installed within my head without permission? why do “they” want to know what little ole me is thinking or doing?

I doubt “they” do but then I cannot be to sure so I will continue to try to disappear. I have not done anything wrong that I am aware of but what is right and what is wrong definitions may have changed when I was not looking.

So, poor trees…maybe tomorrow I can just do bill pay from my credit union account and save you and still untangle the web footprints I have left merrily along the way.

The steps for untangling:

1. Make a pot of coffee

2. Drink all the coffee

3. Make another pot of coffee

4. Drink all the coffee

When the jitters set in; take a pill; lie down and meditate on ways to save the trees.

5. Sleep

6. Start over