It seemed we had a good life.
The snow crept in on right and left slowly but there.
Snow on some blogs…
None on mine…
I enabled same
Perhaps my theme does not support snow.
Not a big deal
Went to doctor a day early
Walked in mall
going out today to see the blue sky
the leafless trees
reaching out twiggy fingers
toward the space in between
looking and wondering why
the greedy graffiti
has taken over the doors
cheap plastic green circles
red fake velvet ribbons
heralding the season of
for more and more
when less and less
is all that is
oh how i hate holidays from halloween to the ides of march or later i hate holidays they took away so many things and added things like black friday i wonder what happened to white friday or blue friday maybe even a purple friday but no we have to have black friday not ever having been i do not know what people do i stay home and watch the television version of what happens i dont want anything anymore therefore there is no need to go i like animals but during this season i do not like people i am a grumpy old woman knowing that life is short and i should be happy to be here for holidays but what are we celebrating thanksgiving or christmas chanukah or something in between like thankmas or chrisgiving or some new combination of words i do not care whether you like or not this is how i feel and for once i thought i would write it down wrote my obituary today wanted to save my children the problem of what to say and stored it online under lindas obit hopefully they will find it my ashes are to be scattered in the winds it was a nice day to write an obit now i almost have all my funeral plans down rather celebrating a life if one cares to celebrate and if not i will not know will i the wind chimes chimed the wind blew tumbling the leaves hither and yon a squirrel scratched around to see what was under the leaves sorry i have not left anything recently for him and the rabbits must be gone cause the lettuce looks forlorn and wilted in the grass my neighbors yards are all nice and free of leaves i like leaves it gives a sense of years falling away and sometimes leaving only a tenuous link of one leaf to fall or not sort of like life sometimes it is simply one thing that keeps us from turning lose and going on to another place hopefully more intelligent than this one i must say that even my friends the few i have have commented on how out of sorts i am perhaps i will evaluate this year and what it means to not have enough time to grieve for all those who went off and left me here i wonder the color of the universe i wonder the color of friendship of worship of sharing and thinking do they have colors or are they just a neutral color i like to think that perhaps they may be silver gold rough smooth and haunting in many colors happy thanksgiving, thankmas, chrisgiving or whatever you are celebrating this week may the colors of the universe bless you with vision
“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”
“The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.”
― Albert Einstein
“Crack yourself open! What use is it to continue to hide behind your facades and roles? Why waste your energy playing games? Isn’t it time to cry your tears; to shout your passion; to dance like Zorba; and to let your soul touch the Soul of the world?”
Yesterday was a debacle! Got up early. Took my meds. Warmed left over coffee, and started up again on the project I must finish for my son.
ten o’clock rolls around, and not having eaten anything, I remembered the last little mini chocolate covered Carmel Santa all snug in his little Russell Stover bag. knowing I am allergic to chocolate, I decided the two bites to eat him would not hurt….
fifty minutes later, after coughing and gagging, thinking my throat might close at any minute, I drank some vinegar (do not know why), tons of water and finally popped that Benadryl knowing that would shut me down for the rest of the day.
four o’clock, a knocking on the door. I could not drag myself to the door. The knocking stops as the phone begins to ring. My neighbor had brought my mail and would bring me salmon patties at 5.
back to sleep to be awakened at 5 with the promised. I stumbled in the kitchen and ate one patty. Drank more water and back to sleep.
Seven o’clock and must call my sister. We talk every day to make sure we are alive. I could barely croak out any words. She had a good day and drove her new car to the Capital to volunteer today. Said it made her nervous. When she finished 32 minutes later, I was kinda awake so checked emails; screwed up Word Press before returning to bed and waking at 5:15. Got ready for my two hour contract job that I have once a week. Weighed…157.2. Two pounds lost by eating that little old Santa and one salmon patty with lots of water.
six a.m. Found me sitting at my favorite McDonald’s eating a sausage only McMuffin…no egg, no cheese and black coffee.
After going to Target (groceries); gas station for gas (what did you expect them to think, Linda); on to Sam’s for meds; then lowes to take back some building stuff, I came home and ate another salmon patty with romaine lettuce and my home grown cherry tomatoes. I think I will still be eating them at Christmas!
this finishes my boring saga, however
I am thankful I am so hearty that the coughing, gagging episode did not deter me for long!
No Santa’s in my future!