As I Grow Older

I take my one high blood pressure medication, my aspirin, and cod liver oil. I read all the latest news, meaning mostly shootings, crimes of passion, robberies, car accidents, the world news and the international news. I learned a long time ago how to read news online, to save the trees and to save money. The rest of the world seems to be doing the same.

I get bored quickly with all the crisis’s in the world. I empathize or sympathize with the persons it is happening to however, I realize that I really only want to tend my own little spot in the world. My own little garden. I really just want to be alone to live my remaining years in peace.

It is easy to sit in my garage and watch the scampering of neighbors busy with their daily activities and to realize it is not about me. I can enjoy my own cup of coffee silently without feeling left out or abandoned. The smell of the rain; the cool breezes refresh my sense that we are all privileged to have so much in nature to enjoy, if we take the time to smell the roses or gardenias.

It seems that watching my tadpoles grow up and jump out as little frogs makes me happy. To hear their singing at night. With all the rain, they seem happier. Their little world from my fountain to the creek has expanded.

Most days I feel like I am the ditsy old woman.I don’t read the same books; I don’t go to the same church; I would rather pet the neighbors animals than to converse with their human owners.The rabbits love the leftover salads I buy and never finish off. The squirrels clamber about on the trees finishing off the pistachios and the chipmunks…ah the chipmunks who ate everything are still with me and I think I like having the destructive little creatures peeking around the bricks, running across the drive, sitting looking at me at times as if to ask if I were still going to try to kill them.

I was never good at parties; I did not know how to have “throw-a-way” conversation; I do care about politics enough to have a heated conversation.I do vote but why discuss the downward spiral of our country; the corrupt politics? Everything we hear these day seem to have been corrupted in some way and perhaps this was true in the past as well but we did not have 24/7 media coverage of the first and last gas passing, so to speak.

My favorite drink does not come served in elegant long stemware; a cracked cup is fine. The hot tea taste the same. Simple food, without meat, is best for me. I cannot bring myself to eat my pet chicken, cow, horse, or any other animal. I feel guilty about the fish? but I suppose they have forgiven me.

I would need to go shopping to look as good as the last bag lady I saw down by the bridge. My pants have been cut off to make shorts and I wear my late brother’s denim shirt with frayed sleeves. Other everyday clothes seem to bag in all the right places. I was told once that a painted cow looks better; but I was not a cow and did not know how this applied to my face without any makeup. It clogs the pores and makes older women look older…just me, I guess.

I want to care about some things.Pay attention to those I meet and give them undivided attention; listen without judgment or analysis; praise the good that I see. I tried saving the world. I did not. Perhaps you noticed how completely I failed at that task.

I cannot do anything about sports in general; I wrote opinions during my save the world days; even as recently as last week I may still have been trying to save the world by banning football and I would have to add all the others as well. Did you see how everyone immediately dropped what they were doing to eliminate sports from their world?

I could balance the budget, I just know I could. However, that would create a bigger crisis. Politicians would have to get a real job and have our healthcare and not be paid for life for having served our country which mostly benefited them and not us, the silent majority.

I cannot do anything about all the plastic surgeries gone wrong.Why would we tinker with what we have; are wrinkles and crooked noses really that bad? There go the plastic surgeon’s in my world!

As you can see, small talk is really not for me. My days are no longer filled with rushing to and fro; meetings; getting a foot up on the rung of the ladder. My days are now filled with wondering why all those things mattered in the first place.

 

17 comments on “As I Grow Older

  1. Butch Dean says:

    I identify with so much of what you say. This is a good read.

    Like this

  2. I’m wondering too…

    where the standards went; right was right and wrong was wrong…still are!

    Question: what do you have when you throw out the standards? Ans.: substandard.

    You can’t run a country on sub-standards.

    Your topic is intensely gripping. Sure to grab tons of reviews. Enjoy your sharing so much, Linda. :)

    Like this

    • Thanks, Jeanne. I like your question and the answer with which I agree. I wonder if it is just us older folk?

      The reviews really do not matter. The few blogging friends I have are enough.

      Like this

  3. Kathy says:

    It sounds like you are a special individual–and one we need to hear from. You will help all of us learn how to be ourselves, drinking our tea and not worrying what the neighbors think. I am vetoing your idea about shutting up. (Ha ha, let’s see if you listen to one of your neighbors!) Without you sharing the world will not be the same place. You are a teacher and a human being with gifts/faults and if you don’t share them even the cracked cup will weep.

    Like this

    • Oh, darn, there is nothing worse than a weeping cracked cup! That means the crack has probably widen and the tea is seeping through. Quick, go find another cracked cup! I’m sure I have plenty!

      Like this

  4. Kathy says:

    P.S. NONE of us get it right. Our minds are ALWAYS trying to convince us that we’re screwing up. Maybe it’s not that we screwed up–but that we haven’t surrendered to what the Universe is trying to express THROUGH us.

    Like this

  5. Caddo Veil says:

    As I get older, stuff falls off and away–I think it’s a good thing.

    Like this

  6. reb says:

    What a wonderful post, Linda! Have had my little bouts with “Save the World” too. Gave up quickly since I realized I wouldn’t be able to convince the millions. There’s too much greed and meanness in this world.

    I can so identify with what you said about neighbour’s pets and conversations …

    This post should really have national attention.

    Like this

  7. John Jr says:

    Nice post, reminds me of myself a bit :D , and I can definitely relate to the Trying To Save The World part; I am still trying/trying to figure that one out and I am failing as expected/usual, trying to save the World/figure out how to save it (especially as one person) is not easy/maybe not even possible. ;)

    It can be a bit sad when you look at things/the situation/the world overall, but there are good & neutral things too as you already know; and you are learning/have learned to enjoy those things, and that you can only do so much but at least you tried/are trying. ;)

    Thank you for sharing this personal post PurpleBorough. :)

    Like this

    • Thank you, John. It is good to have you here!

      Like this

      • John Jr says:

        You are welcome and it is good to have someone like you who is willing to share their meaningful personal thoughts & who is pretty good at turning those thoughts into words; unlike me, so thank you for doing what I can not/am not doing (if that was grammatical). ;) :D

        Like this

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